Divorce as a subject matter really lends itself to wisecracks (maybe it’s because if you don’t laugh about it, you’ll cry). The late, great Joan Rivers is responsible for one of our favorite zingers about separation: “Half of all marriages end in divorce,” she said, “And then there are the really unhappy ones.”
Look no further than Twitter for more quips about the divorce experience. Below, 16 tweets that capture what divorce is really like.
Divorce is basically life giving you a participation medal
— Garrett Robertson (@garrett_therob) April 25, 2015
Getting a divorce is like getting fired from a job you’ve hated for years
— Stefan Urquelle (@OfficeofSteve) March 4, 2014
Divorce is like getting out of jail but not having any money to do anything cool.
— Mr. Onederful® (@ericonederful) January 7, 2015
— Lisa Arends (@stilllearning2b) April 27, 2015
A bad divorce is like a good game of Risk. You can’t recall a single thing about Kamchatka, but damned if it isn’t worth killing for.
— Poppermost (@JMSWVR) April 14, 2015
Getting a divorce is like getting a new phone, you keep telling people how great it is and try to convince everybody to get one too
— KD Omar خالد عمر (@KDsMorning) August 11, 2012
Getting a divorce is like getting LASIK surgery. You sometimes see your ex clearly for the first time. Not liking what I’m seeing.
— Jim Gulbro (@jgulbro) July 20, 2012
"Getting a divorce is like paying a parking ticket" my grandpa everyone..
— Skylar Rowley (@SmileBackSky) April 21, 2012
Your ex wife asking to be friends after getting a divorce is like……Kidnappers asking to "keep in touch" after letting you go…
— KROVAC (@CRASHIR) March 12, 2012
Divorce is like an airplane bathroom; you’ll be blamed for whatever preceded you.
— Nick Holmes (@narcissusholmes) August 3, 2014
Divorce is like leaving home after high school, except with half your shit.
— C’est la vie (@Robert_Beau) April 16, 2014
A Divorce is like a newly discovered rare painting. They cost a lot because they’re worth the money.
— Jeff Ruby (@TheRealJeffRuby) March 10, 2013
Divorce is like passing a kidney stone. It hurts like hell, takes what seems forever to pass but when it passes, its freedom from Pain
— manoj (@ManojG7) October 30, 2012
"Divorce is like having a garage sale. You set your junk on the lawn and someone comes along and snaps it up like a treasure." by ME
— teresa roberts (@teresawriter) August 10, 2012
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