When it comes to dating as a single parent, there is one single most important thing to consider, above everything else:
Would you allow your potential partner to date your child?
Or in other words, is your potential partner good enough for your kids?
Time and time again, I see women and men dating people who don’t exactly cut it.
The man whose girlfriend treats him like a bank account and handyman.
The woman whose boyfriend treats her like a “sidepiece” and inconvenience.
The scenarios are the same for those in LGBT relationships– situations in which one person is settling for less than what they deserve.
Time and time again, I see divorced parents in relationships that aren’t the dream relationship they left their ex’s for.
I see people settling. I see people dating fill-in’s and warm bodies to keep the loneliness at bay.
But if I were to ask any of these people, “Would you let this person date your child? Is this the type of partner you would want your kid to have as an adult?”
The answer is usually hell– no!
But why do we want more for our kids but less than for ourselves?
Why is it okay for you to date beneath you but not your child?
How do you expect your child to honor him or herself in adult relationships, if you cannot do the same thing?
How can you expect your child to raise the bar high if your bar is already so low?
They came from you. If you aren’t good enough well then, your children may draw the conclusion that perhaps maybe they aren’t either.
This is why I am single. I cannot afford to set the bar low on my child’s watch. If I set the bar low, so will she.
Until I find someone who honors me the way I should be, I will go solo.
So when you go out there to date as a single parent remember this: your children are watching.
Set the bar high.
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