Is This Man Acting Unethically If He Doesn’t Tell His Girlfriend He Dated Men?

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When you start dating someone, how much of your past are you expected to disclose — if anything? If you don’t reveal something, are you acting unethically? And what role does the way society shames and stigmatizes some people for their sexuality play in all of this?

Those are some of the questions that co-hosts Carina Kolodny and Noah Michelson wrestled with on a special “ask us anything” episode of The HuffPost Love+Sex Podcast after receiving the following email from a listener:

“My brother has been dating a woman he really likes for about four months. He’s 28 now but when he was in his early 20’s he dated men for a while. He says that it was just a phase and he doesn’t identify as bisexual and he doesn’t think he needs to tell her. I think he has to tell her. Who’s right?”

Kolodny and Michelson, who were joined by Dr. Zhana Vrangalova, a sex expert and professor at New York University, discussed the potential reasons why this man might not want to open up about his dating history, the problems that bisexual men — and men who have dated or slept with men in the past but don’t identify as bisexual — can face when dating women and the possible impetus for this sibling reaching out in the first place:

This “ask us anything” episode also features questions about everything from “how do lesbians have sex” to “what should I do if my boyfriend doesn’t want me to use a vibrator?” If you’ve got a question you’d like answered on an upcoming episode of HuffPost’s Love+Sex Podcast, send it to .

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This podcast was produced and edited by Katelyn Bogucki and sound engineered by Brad Shannon. Like Love + Sex? Subscribe, rate and review our podcast on iTunes.

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