Why I Still Love Weddings Even Though I’m Divorced

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“Wow, they’re really built for weddings, huh?” said one of my best guy friends to one of my other best guy friends while watching me and my best girlfriend kill it on the dance floor at one of our other best guy friend’s weddings a few years ago. Weddings are awesome. They just are. You have a bunch of people in a room with a dance floor and a band or DJ with a bar and probably a bunch of your friends and family — all dressed up and looking fancy. What more could you ask for to bring complete joy into your life for a couple of hours, right?

It’s two people making a choice to share their lives together and they’ve invited you (YOU!) to be part of it. Chances are there was a list. And that list was too long. And people needed to be cut from that list. But they thought you were important enough to be in that room when they look out at all the people they love most in the world sharing their special day about their special choice together. So what if you got divorced and you’re still bitter about love? So what if you think marriage is a joke and you think they are making a huge mistake? So WHAT? We live in AMERICA where people can make choices. And if down the line they decide that choice isn’t working for them anymore they can make another choice to go in a different direction. Or not. To each his own. For now, on this day, there is a dance floor and an open bar (my two favorite things). Also, I love love. I really do. I hope when people get married they stay married forever. But I also hope that if the marriage has dimmed both of their lights and they are no longer growing into the people they want to be, they have the courage to make another choice, to realize that life is long, and being miserable because you think you are trapped is no way to live. Not in America. But the wedding? That’s the party. That’s the celebration. You can’t hate a wedding!

This past weekend I had the pleasure of watching the last of my college friends get married. Maybe I’m just filled with euphoria because I just got to travel with 14 of my very favorite college friends and spouses (obviously, I’m the 15th wheel) for three nights in a city we’d never been to and wake up in hotel rooms without kids wondering what we’re making them for breakfast. Maybe my feet are still sore from dancing to the epic songs the DJ played — “Livin’ on a Prayer,” “Bye, Bye, Bye,” “Pour Some Sugar on Me,” “Uptown Funk,” “Billy Jean” and “Everybody” just to name a few. Maybe I’m still hung over. Maybe my face still hurts from laughing at all of us, 16 years out of college, still showing love by completely making fun of each other. Maybe I look out as the groom dances with his mother and get a little weepy knowing that maybe someday I’ll be doing that with my son…and my other son. Maybe I think back to my own wedding, where I knew, unequivocally that I was making the best decision of my life — which I still believe 4 years after the divorce. That choice we made to marry brought me the two absolute loves of my life, and I look fondly on having the pleasure to dance with both of them, someday, at their own weddings.

Maybe by then I’ll actually have a plus one!

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