Sex After 50 Means Facing This Big Challenge In Today’s Dating Scene

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On Monday we launched a special Sex After 50 series that will include a week of blogs, videos and stories about sex, love and dating after 50. Our first video featured Michael C. Bryan, a gay, 50-something single looking for love. Today’s video features Joe Seldner, a straight, 60-something single, also looking for love. In addition to the video, we asked Joe five questions. His answers are below. Check out our other Sex After 50 stories here. 

 

Huff/Post50: How has sex and dating changed for you after age 50 compared to the way it was when you were, say, in your 20s?

 

Joe: Perhaps surprisingly, sex was a less complicated issue in my 20s. One might think that as we get older the sexual stuff would get less problematic, but I have found the opposite. The actual “sex” is  just as good as ever (if it isn’t, you’re doing something wrong) but the “dance” people do around the sexual issue is weighted down by bad relationships of the past, worries about how we will be perceived, fear of “wasting time” as the sands run through our hourglasses and such. The dating scene, because of the Internet, has gotten much better. It is possible to meet many people you would never have been able to otherwise, and contrary to what some people wrongly believe, there is much more, not less, information available now about your dating partners. Worries about Internet dating are overblown. 

 

Huff/Post50: What’s the biggest challenge you face in today’s dating scene?

 

Joe: I think working — and that word may offend some people — to make relationships succeed is more difficult as we get older. The urge to cut and run — especially because it’s so easy now to meet people — sometimes outweighs the desire to work on relationships that may have some problems, as all relationships do.

 

Huff/Post50: What’s the biggest myth surrounding sex and dating after 50?

 

Joe: That it gets more difficult to find “the right one” as you get older. It’s always hard to find the right one, as evidenced by the dozens of dating sites and tens of millions of people on them. Yes, we are usually more discerning about what we want after 50, but as long as we are open to possibilities and new people, we can find rewarding relationships.

 

Huff/Post50: Who was your favorite sex symbol growing up?

 

Joe: Jane Fonda.

 

Huff/Post50: What celebrity older than 50 would you describe as totally sexy today?

 

Joe: Marg Helgenberger.

 

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