When Is Enough Really Enough?

Many of us believe in the concept of trying to work things out no matter what. That we will go to the ends of the earth, and put up with almost anything, before we would ever consider splitting up with someone. Others know that there are fatal flaws in their relationship, and believe they should end it, but worry about what others will think. This brings up the question of whether there comes a point when enough is enough, even in relationships with people who believe you try and work things out at all costs. The cost can be your happiness, your self-confidence, and well-being. There is no price, and no relationship worth paying that.

One reason that may tell us that things have passed the point of no return is the controlling and untrusting relationship. This is the relationship where despite pleas to change behaviors, one or both members of the partnership try and control their partner’s behavior. Also, there are major trust issues in the relationship. Despite everything that the partner has done to try and talk about, prove, and comfort the other, trust can never be built. It is nearly impossible to maintain a relationship where one partner never trusts the other is nearly impossible to maintain. When one partner is checking your phone, calling and checking up on you, and never believing anything you say, when you have done nothing to break that trust, it may not be a healthy relationship.

Another reason that a relationship may not be able to last is if there is good reason for lack of trust. If one or both members has committed infidelity or multiple infidelities, if one partner will not make your relationship public to their friends and family, or always seems to have excuses as to why they cannot, there is a serious issue. If someone does not want to make you a full part of their life after a significant amount of time, you have to start to wonder why. If they do not want friends and family to meet you, if they go out of their way to avoid the two of you being together on social media, you have to wonder why they do not want people to know you are an important part of your life.

When people make you feel bad about yourself both by yourselves, and in front of other people, it is time to consider the healthiness of this relationship. If your partner tears you down, instead of builds you up, you have to ask yourself what is it that you love and want to be with about this person. If someone tells you that you are not good enough that you need to change who you are, or worst of all makes fun of you in front of others, this is not someone who loves and cares about your feelings and your happiness. Self-confidence is a precious commodity, and it is easily broken down bit by bit by the person closest to you. When someone treats you like you are not good enough, not smart enough, and not someone to be loved and cherished, this is not someone that you should be with. You want to be with the person who believes you are all those things.

While it is clear that most issues, and most relationships can be repaired with the right help and willingness, there are ones that are simply unhealthy. There are issues that can be dealt with through willingness and professional help, while there are others that break you down as a person. There is meaning when people stand before others and say, “Until death do us part,” but that should not include relationships that break you down, instead of growing together as a couple. No one, especially the person closest to you, should tear you down, distrust you, or make you feel like you are not good enough to be part of their lives.

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